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Posted by Myrna on December 14, 2006, 11:57 pm, in reply to "Re: Divorced, now single parent dating while having a child who is severely disabled." We live in a small town, I've known him since I was a teenager ! he's 10 yrs my senior, he knew my daughter, but didn't know the degree of her disability. as well she knew of him too from encounters we had at the grocery store or community functions. so intorducing her to him wasn't that much of big deal. I'd be lying if I said he was very comfortable with her disability, he wasn't. but he did make tremendous efforts to learn about her. it also took him a long time to establish physical contact with her, so hugs and kisses were not done on a daily basis, and I was ok with that. I think had there been frequent hugs and kisses i'd have flags raised ! he had his own house and we had ours, eventually he moved in with us. at the time he was away working so he'd only be home on weekends and that made the transition easier for her to accept, when I was pregnant with our son, he decided it was in everyone's best interest to quit working away and he found something here in town. that gave her the stability she was looking for. she eventually asked if it was ok to call him dad when our son was born, he willingly said definately, but she never took it up, she feels fake saying it. (her own words). As for dating, yes, I'd date, if the topic of kids ever came up i'd tell them yes, I have a daughter, but i'd never talk about her until I felt comfortable with him. you figure a guy is out looking for a break, fun, whatever, he wouldn't want to think I was looking for a new daddy to my kid. for me, my daughter was,, private? I had to protect her, and givng all sorts of information could have scared him away or if he was some looney with ill thoughts could have put her in danger, so i was very cautious with what information I put out. My advice for you, take it slow. don't rush anything. so what if it means being single for a year or 2, its ok. don't look for a man to accept your kids BEFORE HES ABLE TO ACCEPT YOU. I don't know if that makes sense, but you need to find and love who you are now, who you've become since your divorce, and accept yourself. once you do that the men you encounter will love your ability to be at ease with yourself allowing them to be comfortable With You. sometimes the man of our dreams aren't really what we expected them to be. Good Luck !
Elena,
Myrna
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